At sometime in most people’s lives they will have went through a breakup. A breakup is a curious thing. Most things
in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go
through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.
Unless the relationship was completely terrible, after a breakup most people want to get their ex back. In fact,
sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still long for to get their ex back. You really shouldn't
try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy
relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself
lucky.
The majority of relationship follow a predictable pattern otherwise. When you first meet someone everything is
wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in.
You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The
little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.
Perhaps you've heard the expression, "Familiarity breeds contempt." Truer words couldn't be spoken for
relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, discontent usually starts. This is
exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes labor and effort to take care of a relationship.
Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship
completely
Even though your relationship is over and your ex partner made it clear it was over, do you still think your
relationship is worth saving? You need some answers on how to get your ex back. Here are four steps you can
take.
1. Apologize to them
Apologizing is one on the best how to get your ex back steps. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the
best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself
for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize
for is critical.
When you do say you’re sorry, whatever you do, don’t let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of
saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another spat. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings
something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.
2. Have a face to face chat and talk things out
If you ex is up to it, schedule a time where you can sit down and talk face to face. Whatever you do don't beg,
plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree,
you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a spat again. Make it clear to
your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.
You should be objective when you discuss the issues. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame,
you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships
involved with this, if at all possible.
3. You have to give your ex space
This would seem counter-intuitive to how to get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to
them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each
other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If
you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.
4. You have to show them you care about yourself
You have to prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not
succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping
to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go
to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.
The best situation is you’re not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're
out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is
wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back.
This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.
Oscar Rheasoneg,
T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you
know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
