How to Get Your Partner to Agree to Relationship Counseling
For couples on the brink of divorce, relationship counseling is most of the time the last resort. But some couples
try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple
shouldn’t be scared to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with
counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road. Early counseling can even something prevent a future
divorce.
The couple of today are more eager to experience new things. This bodes well for using relationship counseling as
an option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because
it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in
divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the
marriage.
If you think relationship counseling will help your relationship, you have to ask your partner to attend with you.
Do it in a non¬-judgemental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are
accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try
to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.
Your partner is more likely to consider attending counseling if you tell them that you have some issues you need to
work on. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn
how to be a better partner or spouse. Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling. Even if you believe that
they are most of the problem, don’t say so. Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and
techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.
Time together with your partner, be it 3 months or 2 decades, should have no affect on your decision to suggest
relationship counseling. It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it’s never too late to try
to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re
admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that’s not true.
But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.
You have to short circuit your partner’s belief that if you need relationship counseling the relationship isn’t
perfect or worse the relationship is doomed. Keep calm and explain that those ideas aren’t the case. Just because
you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the
other person and yourself happy.
You should go on your own if your significant other refuses attendance. While the counseling would work best if
both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship
counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.
Oscar Rheasoneg,
T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic
for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
