George works lots of long hoursand Sharon doesn’t feel he is there for her. She spends all of her time dealing with
the children’s needs and he feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be salvaged?
Should it be salvaged? Here’s how to save a relationship.
Is the relationship worth saving? This is the first decision that you have to make. While almost every relationship
can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has
opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.
Two of the most common reasons for staying in a decaying relationship are it is convenient or because of children.
But that is not enough. How to save a relationship demandsa commitment by both parties that the relationship is
worth saving.
The problem or problems in the relationship have to be identified. One of the biggest problems in how to save a
relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
As an example, lots of people think an affair is the root problem that caused the break up. The affair is just a
symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people
look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary
relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting
through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt
with the core issue.
Mere symptoms are not the root of the problem. You have to deal with the core issues before you can save a
relationship.
Identifying the core problems will allow you to begin to share thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own
feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems
as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things
that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because
they want to improve the relationship.
After you have detailed the root problems in your relationship, then you can create a solution to them. Then, take
concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every
week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is
the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
You have to realize that saving a relationship is an endless job. You are going to take two steps forward only to
take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to
blame.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I hope this article on how to save a relationship has helped.
Oscar Rheasoneg,
T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for
us. Now we are more in love than ever.
